When your mind is at war but your body is far from it; the psychological exhaustion of immigrants during crisis

For someone living abroad whose family is in Iran, war and crisis are not distant events; they are a constant presence in the mind. The body sits in a safe environment, but the mind is constantly scanning for danger: "What if something has happened now? What if I can't make contact? What if I find out too late?"

This gap between "here" and "there" gradually creates exhaustion. Many people say that despite sitting at their desks for hours, no work gets done. Emails are read multiple times but no replies are written. Focus dissipates. The mind is tired, even if the body has done nothing.

Real Example

Imagine you are an Iranian employee or student in Germany. In the morning, you open your laptop, but every ten minutes, you check your phone. Not because of addiction, but because of anxiety. Every notification could be bad news. Your brain is practically in "standby" mode. In this state, expecting high concentration is unrealistic.

One of the hidden but very common feelings in this situation is guilt. The guilt of living a normal life. Some people don't even enjoy good moments because their mind tells them: "Now is not the time to be happy." This feeling can lead to self-blame and silent depression.

On the other hand, disruption or interruption of communication with family multiplies the pressure. When calls don't connect, the brain enters a "filling the void" phase. And unfortunately, in conditions of uncertainty, the human brain usually constructs the worst-case scenario. This is not pessimism, but a survival mechanism.

What Really Helps? (Not Slogans, Not Generalities)

1. Redefine Focus
In such circumstances, 100% focus is an unreasonable expectation. Instead, define small units.
Example:
Instead of "Today I need to advance the entire project" → "I will only open this file for 30 minutes."
The brain in crisis cooperates with small goals, not large ones.

2. Schedule Anxiety
Instead of letting anxiety spread throughout the day, set "time" for it.
Example:
Two 20-minute intervals per day for following news or checking messages. Outside of that, if a thought comes, tell yourself: "Now is not the time, I'll deal with it later."
This simple act gives the brain boundaries.

3. Bring the Body Back to the Present
War anxiety is future-oriented. The body must be brought back to the now.
Practical examples:

• Washing hands, focusing on the temperature and feel of the water

• Pressing feet to the ground and naming 5 things you see

• 4-4-6 breathing (inhale, hold, exhale)

These are simple, but they directly affect the nervous system.

4. Connect Without Exhaustion
Some people spend all their mental energy following news and the pain of others so as not to "be indifferent." But empathy without boundaries leads to exhaustion.
A healthier example:
Instead of 10 hours of mental engagement → a specific action: a call at a specific time, targeted financial aid, or writing down feelings.

5. Allow Life to Happen
Living abroad is not a betrayal of family. Continuing to work and taking care of oneself does not mean denying the pain; it means the psyche survives. A collapsed psyche cannot be a supporter.

The Role of Therapy

Treatment in these circumstances is not about eliminating anxiety; it's about regulating it. Therapy helps to:

• Process guilt without self-destruction

• Build a healthy boundary between "staying informed" and "being overwhelmed"

• Gradually restore focus and sleep

For many immigrants, simply having someone understand their divided state is therapy in itself.

Living abroad when one's homeland is in crisis is a complex and exhausting experience. This situation requires understanding, tools, and support; not simplistic advice. With proper awareness and care, one can navigate this period without the psyche being crushed under its weight.