Migration is not just changing countries.
Migration is not just a change of place; it also changes how we see relationships and what emotional safety means. Why, after migrating, emotional safety becomes a real need rather than a luxury.
Somewhere along this road, you leave behind part of your identity, your memories, your language, the important people in your life, and even a version of yourself you lived with for years.
When many of us migrate, we are not only busy finding a home, a job or a university place, or learning a new language. Alongside all of that, we are also wrestling with loneliness, homesickness, worry about the future, financial pressure and the effort of building a life all over again.
Maybe that is why the way we look at relationships slowly changes too.
Many people think high standards mean more romantic messages, more attention, more gifts or spending more money.
But after migrating, you slowly realise that the most important things lie somewhere else.
Emotional safety.
Knowing who you are standing next to.
How the other person reacts when life gets hard.
Whether they disappear or stay when they are under pressure.
Whether you can count on them or not.
After migrating, you look less at words and more at actions.
You pay less attention to the first excitement and more to steadiness.
You look less for someone who simply loves you, and more for someone beside whom you feel calm and safe.
Perhaps one of the most important changes migration brings about in us is that instead of asking:
"How much does this person love me?"
we ask:
"Am I okay beside this person?"
"Can I count on this person?"
"Are they a shelter, or a new storm of their own?"
Migration teaches us to choose more deeply.
Because after so much change, loss and hardship, emotional safety is no longer a luxury. It is a real need.
And perhaps, after everything we have left behind, the most valuable gift we can give ourselves is choosing a relationship in which we feel safe, calm and that we belong. 🌱🤍
Lena Ebadi