Internal Family Systems, or IFS, was developed by Richard Schwartz. Its main idea is that the mind is made up of different "parts", like when we say "part of me wants to go and another part wants to stay". This is normal and not a sign of illness.
In IFS no part is bad; even parts that cause trouble are usually trying, in their own way, to protect us. Alongside these parts there is a calm, curious and compassionate "Self" that can build a relationship with them.
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IFS usually sees parts in three groups: "managers" that try to control everything in advance, "firefighters" that rush to put out pain when it rises (sometimes with costly behaviours), and "exiles", wounded parts that carry old pain.
Your therapist helps you, instead of blending with a part, to look at it with curiosity and ask: what is it afraid of, and what is it trying to protect you from? When protective parts feel safe, they gradually allow you closer to wounded parts so the burdens they carry can be eased.
The work moves slowly and with the parts' permission, which is why many people experience it as gentle.
Online IFS sessions usually last 50 to 60 minutes and often take place weekly. Your therapist may invite you to close your eyes or turn your attention inward and notice how a part feels in your body or mind.
Length varies; some people work for a few months, and those with deeper wounds may continue longer.
Examples are fictional and illustrative.
Hamid lived in the Netherlands and every year struggled over whether to return or stay. In IFS he met a part afraid of losing his roots and a part afraid of insecurity. Once he listened to both, the conflict softened and a decision felt more possible. This example is fictional.
Sepideh always left important tasks until the last minute. In sessions she saw that a part of her used delay to protect her from fear of failure. Instead of blaming it, she thanked it and got to know the fear behind it. This story is made up.
Kamran had a harsh inner critic. When he asked it with curiosity, he learned it had been trying since childhood to keep him safe from punishment. This example is fictional.
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No. IFS treats having different parts as a normal feature of every human mind. It is simply a language for understanding conflicting feelings and motives.
Only if and when you are ready. IFS respects protective parts and does not move towards pain without their permission.
Very well. Most of the work is inner attention and conversation, which is easy to do from a quiet place at home.
Both work with inner parts or modes. IFS puts strong emphasis on a calm, compassionate Self and the relationship with parts, while schema therapy focuses more on childhood needs and specific patterns.
This page is general information and does not replace a professional assessment. If you are in immediate danger or thinking about harming yourself, contact your local emergency services. Urgent help
