Compassion-focused therapy, or CFT, was developed by Paul Gilbert for people who live with strong shame and self-criticism. Many people know they "should not be so hard on themselves" but do not feel it inside; CFT works precisely on that gap.
Compassion in this approach means being sensitive to your own and others' suffering, with a motivation to help ease it. It is not weakness or self-pity but a form of strength and courage that can be practised like a skill.
Something else may fit better if…
CFT uses a "three systems" model of emotion: the threat system (fear, anger, anxiety), the drive system (goals, striving, achievement) and the soothing system (safeness, connection, calm). When the threat system is overactive and the soothing system underused, life becomes full of pressure.
Your therapist helps you understand where your self-criticism came from and what job it has been doing, without blaming yourself for having it. Then come practices such as soothing rhythm breathing, imagining a compassionate companion, writing a compassionate letter to yourself and developing a "compassionate self".
CFT can be used on its own or alongside other approaches such as CBT.
Online CFT sessions usually last 50 minutes and often happen weekly, combining conversation with short imagery and breathing exercises. At first, kindness towards yourself may feel strange or even uncomfortable; this is common and is talked about in session.
Many people work for several months and continue short daily practices between sessions.
Examples are fictional and illustrative.
Mehdi had been a manager in Iran but had to start from scratch in Canada. Every day he told himself he was a loser. In CFT he learned to speak to himself in the tone he would use with a friend in the same situation. Slowly his shame made room for a little self-respect. This example is fictional.
Roya felt she was not a good mother and blamed herself for every small mistake. Through imagining a compassionate companion she learned to comfort herself in hard moments. This story is made up.
Hasti felt embarrassed about writing a compassionate letter to herself. When she finally did, she cried for herself for the first time and felt lighter. This example is fictional.
These therapists list this on their profile. All sessions are online and in Persian.
No. Compassion means seeing a mistake honestly without contempt, together with the motivation to make things better. Harsh blame often reduces motivation rather than increasing it.
That is common, especially for people who grew up with a lot of criticism. Your therapist moves gently, step by step, and explores that resistance with kindness too.
It is often used when shame and self-criticism sit alongside difficulties such as depression, anxiety or painful past experiences. A therapist can help you see whether it suits you.
Yes. Breathing and imagery exercises work well over video, and doing them in the familiar space of home can even feel easier.
This page is general information and does not replace a professional assessment. If you are in immediate danger or thinking about harming yourself, contact your local emergency services. Urgent help
